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Maintaining Balance: Drainers and Energizers

Barb Small — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 21:36:00 GMT

Maintaining balance is important to all areas of our life. Too much focus in any one area disrupts the others. Balance doesn’t just happen. It is created by the choices we make. We continuously have to self-correct in response to what happens in life to maintain balance. Our well-being is based on our ability to RESTORE balance in the face of continual disruption. To do this we need to recognize what is disruptive and unbalances us and we need to pay attention to what balances us and allows our life to simply flow. By being attentive to our own lives, we begin to see patterns more clearly and then can act on them.

Identifying Your Personal Drainers and Energizers

First make a list of what drains your energy, stresses you, frustrates you, worries you, irritates you, nags at you… Write down as many things as you can think of. Be specific. For example, don’t just put people. List each person by name.
Secondly, make a list of what gives you energy, makes you happy, that you are passionate about, interests you, you enjoy, makes you feel good…
Take a look at your two lists. What stands out for you from this activity? Is there a theme to your drainers or your energizers? In order to achieve balance the aim is to increase your energizers and decrease your drainers by eliminating them or changing how you perceive them.
Then set a goal to eliminate two drainers and increase two energizers over the next week or month.

Barb Small
www.barbsmallcoaching.com
Email: barbsmall@shaw.ca

The 5 Stages of Change: Strategies for Success

Barb Small — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 21:33:16 GMT

Two psychologists, Prochaska & DiClementes, determined that people trying to change their behavior go through 5 specific stages of change before they are successful. During each stage you work through a different set of issues and tasks that relate to changing your behavior. Everyone progresses through each of these stages at their own rate. You can’t skip a stage, although you may only be at some stages only briefly. The 5 stages are:

Stage 1: Pre-Contemplation

Stage 2: Contemplation

Stage 3: Preparation

Stage 4: Action

Stage 5: Maintenance

Stage 1: Pre-Contemplation:

You’re not thinking about making a change because you don’t think you have a problem that needs changing and you are not interested in any kind of help.
As soon as you consider making a change you have moved onto the contemplation stage

Stage 2: Contemplation:

You are more aware of the consequences of your unhealthy behavior and open to discussing the possibility of doing something different.
You acknowledge there is a problem that needs to be addressed, but are still ambivalent about making the change, You weigh the pros and cons of changing, but still doubt that the long-term benefits will outweigh the short-term costs
Some of us may think and think and think about making a particular change for years, but never move past this stage
Increasing your self-awareness moves you forward. Some questions to ask yourself:

Why do I want to change?

What is preventing me from changing?

What would help me make this change?

Identify the first small steps you can take to move yourself forward - this creates momentum.
Create a list of the personal advantages of making the change and a second list of the disadvantages of remaining where you are – identifying these can also create motivation to move forward.
Assess your motivation level by rating it on a scale of 1-10, with 1 indicating “no motivation” and 10 being “very motivated”. What would move you up one level (say from a 6 to a 7)? This will help you identify some short-term goals.
Strategize ahead of time on how to deal with challenging situations if they were to occur. Be proactive. Focus on problem-solving these obstacles, such as: “Who will support me at work if and when I decide to change my eating habits?”

Stage 3: Preparation:

You have made a commitment to change and in preparation have started investigating options.
You start gathering whatever you need in order to be successful: surfing the web, seeking help from others (peer coach, personal trainer, nutritionist), calling to find out about community programs and resource, researching how others have succeeded, or taking a course and establishing support people.
Write down your goal and create an action plan for achieving it. Begin small day-to-day behavior changes. These small steps can help build confidence and develop necessary skills.

Stage 4: Action:

You are actively doing things to change. Moving forward with the steps in your action plan.
Your new behavior may still be occurring on a limited and irregular basis because motivation can come and go. With time your new behavior becomes more prominent and the old behavior occurs less and less.
Reward yourself for any positive steps you take. Reinforcement and support are extremely important in helping maintain positive steps toward change.
Keeping a food, smoking or activity journal can help to increase your self-awareness.
It is normal for people to “relapse” or go back to old behaviors when starting to make a change – this does not have to mean you have to give up completely. See your slips as learning opportunities. Ask yourself – “what could I do differently next time if this was to happen again?”
Reinforce your motivation - How can you keep the most important benefits foremost in your mind? A picture, a photo, a quote, an item.

Stage 5: Maintenance:

At this stage you maintain your change until it becomes permanent and you don’t need to keep working on it.
You can still be vulnerable to relapse and need to stay focused on maintaining your new behavior through effective planning and avoiding and resisting temptations.
You have to continue practicing your new behaviors until they become second nature.

Relapse

Relapse occurs when you return to your old behavior and abandon the new change.
It is normal and natural to fall back to a previous stage – most people experience relapse in some form along the way.
Relapse is often accompanied by feelings of discouragement and a sense of failure. However, the majority of people who are successful at making a change do not follow a straight path to permanent success. Many cycle through the 5 stages several times.
It is important not to see relapse as a failure. It is important to analyze how the relapse occurred and use it as a learning opportunity and an opportunity to become stronger.
Identify the triggers that lead to the relapse. Explore how to anticipate future high-risk situations and how you can handle them either once they occur or how to avoid them in the first place.

Barb Small
www.barbsmallcoaching.com
Email: barbsmall@shaw.ca

The Evolution of Relationships

Barb Small — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 19:04:55 GMT

I was talking with a friend today about her daughter's relationships and I created my own saying to sum it up that I quite liked. I wanted to share it with you.

I think we could be a lot calmer and less angst ridden with new relationships if we kept in mind that:

"Everything starts as nothing and not everything becomes something".

What do you think?

Barbara Small

What do you want to be?

Barb Small — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 01:31:57 GMT

"It's never too late to be what you might have been." By Elliot

What do you want to be? Where do you want to be? What do you want to be doing? How do you want to live your life?

It's never too late. Do it now.

Tips for Maintaining Your Motivation to Change

Barb Small — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 21:30:00 GMT

First, find out what motivates you the most about making this change at this particular point in time. Why do you want to achieve this goal or make this change NOW? Your current motivation may be different than what your motivation has been in the past and your motivation may change over time as you work toward your goal.

What obstacles get in the way of you reaching your goal? For example: people, personal commitments, your home environment, your health or your work schedule. What can you do to overcome each of these obstacles or distractions? How can you prepare in advance?

If you find motivation for a particular change lacking, try getting started on something else. Even something minor. You’ll create the momentum to begin the more challenging tasks. Just do something.

Keep track of when your motivation is weak and when you feel very motivated. Notice any patterns and develop techniques to move past drops in your motivation.
In the past when you needed to get re-motivated, what worked to jump-start your motivation again?

Keep reminding yourself of the benefits of achieving your goal. Surround yourself with reminders of your motivation or the benefits of achieving your goal. Keep motivators around you as much as possible, things that gave you that initial incentive to get going and keep going.

Tell someone else about your commitment and your goal. Among your personal support network, who might help you stay focused on achieving your goal? What would you ask them to do in order to provide you with the support you need?

Keep positive friends. Spend time with positive and motivated people - those that will help build you up.

What visual representation can you put up in your home/office/car that will remind you to work toward your healthy living goal?

What statement or affirmation can you repeat to yourself to keep you motivated in achieving this goal? How can you remind yourself that you want to achieve this goal?

What picture, personal belonging or item can you choose to remind you to move forward with your goal? (photo, quotation, piece of clothing, keepsake)

Brainstorm actions you can take when motivation is low and you are struggling to follow through

If you write down goals and actions you are more likely to achieve them. Read them over daily.

Finally, how might you reward yourself or celebrate your success when you achieve your goal?

Take time to recognize the success accomplished to date to build confidence for future success.

Barbara Small, www.barbsmallcoaching.com

Maintaining Motivation: Self-efficacy - Your Sense of Personal Power

Barb Small — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 21:17:00 GMT

Self-Efficacy is your belief about how well you think you will be able to cope with a specific situation and produce a desired result. People's expectations of themselves determine to a large extent how much effort they exert to make changes and to cope with challenges and obstacles when they arise.

Strategies for developing positive and strong self-efficacy:

View yourself positively

Stop comparing yourself to others and what they are doing

Don't "judge" yourself

Begin seeing yourself as someone who has the ability to do what you want to do and to do it well

Recognize the goals or small steps you have already achieved

Prepare yourself to deal with whatever outcomes or consequences might happen

Be proactive in identifying strategies to avoid relapse

Reward yourself when you have achieved each step, no matter how small it may seem at the time.

Barbara Small, www.barbsmallcoaching.com

Maintaining Motivation: Believe in Yourself

Barb Small — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 21:17:03 GMT

One of the strongest influences on your attitude and motivation to make a change is what you say to yourself. By controlling your inner dialogue, or your “self-talk,” you can impact your motivation and your ability to follow through with your healthy change. Your degree of motivation can be decreased by your personal belief systems, including fear of success, fear of failure, your sense of personal power or self-efficacy, perfectionism or self-doubt.

You can talk yourself into feeling incapable of making the change and prevent yourself from moving forward. You can talk yourself into thinking that the change is too much work or that you don’t have time. (Inner critic)

Or…

You can talk yourself into feeling calm and confident. You can recognize your past successes and your abilities to achieve your goals. You can focus on the benefits of the change and the rewards you will receive at the end. (Inner cheerleader)

Steps for reframing your negative, self-defeating thoughts:

Be aware of your negative thought.

Identify where this thought comes from. Whose voice is this?

Dispute it or reframe it. How realistic is this thought?

Replace your negative or discouraging thought with a postive,
encouraging or calming one.

Barbara Small, www.barbsmallcoaching.com

What does your life say you value?

Barb Small — Fri, 01 Apr 2011 21:53:00 GMT

What do you think you value and what does how you choose to live your life say you value? Our actions and how we spend our time reflects what we value.

Take a few minutes to write brief answers to the following questions.

1. What do you find yourself doing most often?

2. How do you spend your time?

3. What do you talk about?

4. What do you do when you have a day off?

5. What offends your senses of justice and provokes indignation and outrage?

6. Look at your responses to questions 1 through 5. Based on the responses that you made, what does your current life say you value?

7. Which of your values are you most proud of?

8. If you set out to select the values that would best help you realize your life dream, what would they be?

Source: Live Your Dreams, by Joyce Chapman

Being Assertive is a Choice

Barb Small — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 12:31:00 GMT

People may be surprised and comment on your assertiveness, but that does not mean you acted inappropriately. Sometimes people don’t like when others are assertive. They may think that you don’t care about other people and are selfish. This often is because the recipient of the assertive behaviour is not getting what they want. They can’t manipulate you because you are standing up for yourself.

This especially occurs when there are dynamics established in the relationship where the newly assertive person has been passive in the past. The other non-assertive person resists this newly found assertiveness because it is not what they signed on for when they started the relationship.

When you change how you interact with another person, that person needs to make a decision as to how she will now interact with you. She has the choice to:

change along with you and embrace the new dynamics
search out someone new who will interact in the style to which she have grown accustomed
try to drag you back to how things used to be because your new behaviour is still unfamiliar and your old behaviour is still quite comfortable

How someone responds to your assertiveness is his or her choice. It is up to them to accept it, reject it or be offended by it. We are not responsible for someone else’s feelings, actions or decisions. How they respond is completely their choice.

If they do not like your behaviour it is up to them to be assertive with you as well and let you know. Or they need to find some other way to get their needs met. Assertiveness allows flexibility and space for negotiation.

All of us have our own reasons for choosing not to be assertive at certain times in our life. Assertiveness is a choice.

What are your reasons for choosing not to be assertive? Do they include:

Fear of other people’s responses
Fear of conflict
Fear that others will use the information against me
Don’t know how to be assertive
Don’t know what it is
Don’t know that I have the option to be assertive
It’s selfish or uncaring
My negative self-talk, my belief systems about being assertive
What I perceive to be the expectations of others

Remember being assertive is a choice.

You can choose to be assertive in a situation or you can choose not to be. But if you choose never to be assertive then I would question whether you could be assertive if you wanted to.

In some situations you may choose not to be assertive because it is not in your best interest. For example, you may choose not to be assertive with a boss who in the past has fired someone who stood up to her and right now possibly losing your job is not a risk that you are willing to take. It is important that you recognize that you are making a choice to do this and that you are not trapped in the situation.

When we make a choice to do, or to not do, something it is because we have decided that we are willing to deal with the consequences or outcome and we believe that we are capable of doing so.

Why are you making the choice that you are making in the current situation? Do you feel that you have the skills to be assertive if you chose to?

Valuing Who You Are

Barb Small — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 13:18:00 GMT

A few weeks ago I heard a line on the Nate Berkus Show that really resonated with me:

"Living Your Life Without Apology"

You are valuable for whomever you are.

You don't have to apologize for how you look, for who you choose to love, for the job you want to have, for the mistakes you have made, for whether you are quiet or out-spoken, for whether you decide to have children or not, for how you want to spend your leisure time, for what stresses you out, for what you find difficult to do, for how you feel, for what you enjoy, for your choices......

You are responsible for your choices and you are responsible for the outcome of those choices and you don't have to apologize for your life. It is yours to live. Even if others don't agree with it or understand it.

What have you been apologizing needlessly for?

How can you live your life without apology?

No More New Year's Resolutions?

Barb Small — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:15:00 GMT

Happy New Year! So once again it is the beginning of a new year and this time always finds me with mixed feelings.

Part of me spends time looking over the past year to see what is different and what is still the same. Sometimes I feel disappointed that many of my plans for the year have not been achieved. I see myself in the same rut that I believed I was in at this time last year.

But when I can move past that and reflect on what IS actually different and what I have achieved, I am often pleasantly surprised.

Unexpected opportunities came along and I embraced them. I have made small, yet solid, steps toward where I want my life to be.

I may not have achieved everything I had planned, but much of what I have achieved was not even on my radar last New Years.

The world is always presenting us with opportunities. Success comes from how we respond to these opportunities or challenges when they are presented to us.

Can we be flexible? Can we take time to be open to what is happening so that we can see the opportunity behind what may initially seem like an obstacle?

The second part of me is excited to see what the new year will bring into my life. At this time of year I am eternally optimistic of what I can achieve and how much more content I will be at this time next year. Even if I don’t know what that will look like.

Can I be grateful for what small changes happen in my life? Can I be flexible and blow in the wind while keeping my roots firmly planted in what is most important to me? Can I stay in touch with what I value and what is important to me, rather than constantly molding myself to please others?

Embrace your strengths and see how you can make use of them rather than focusing on what you can’t do.

Often our dissatisfaction and frustration comes from trying to control the world and everyone else in it. They usually don’t cooperate because they have their own agenda.

So instead of setting New Year's resolutions this year, make a promise to yourself to be open and alert to what the world presents to you and embrace something new and unexpected. Say yes and see where it might take you?

Before you freak out when something apparently goes wrong or a door seems to be slammed in your face, step back and look around for what door might be blown open when that one was closed.

Chinese Legend

There was a wise old man who was considered to be an odd sort of fellow because of the way he had of looking at things. One day, one of his favourite horses ran away, and the old man’s friends rushed to console him. “That’s too bad about your horse,” they said. “We all feel sorry for you.”

“How do you know it’s bad?” asked the old man. A few days later the horse returned with two beautiful wild horses following him. This brought the neighbours on the run. “Good! Good!” they exclaimed.

“How do you know it’s good?” said the old man. The next day, while training the two wild horses, the man’s son was thrown, and he fractured his leg. The neighbours came over to commiserate with the old man. “That’s too bad about your son,” they said.

“How do you know this is bad?” said the old man. The very next day a warlord and his army came through the land, conscripting able-bodied young men to fight for them. The son, of course, wasn’t able to go. He had a broken leg.

Moral: It’s neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder

Barb Small — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 20:28:00 GMT

Does this sound like your day? Hope this brings you a little chuckle.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how is manifests itself:

I decide to wash my car. As I start toward to the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the trash can under the table, and notice that the trash can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the trash first, but then I think that since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the trash anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go to my desk where I find the glass of juice that I had been drinking. I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the juice aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

I see that the juice is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the juice, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye – they need to be watered.

I set the juice down on the counter and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I’d better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water, and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight, when we go to watch TV, we will be looking for the remote, but nobody will remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I splash some water on the flowers, but most of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day; the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm glass of juice sitting on the counter, the flowers aren’t watered, there is still only one check in my checkbook,

I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

Source unknown.

Turning disappointment into joy: From service dog to SURFice dog

Barb Small — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 01:04:00 GMT

Watch this wonderful video entitled: Turning disappointment into joy: From service dog to SURFice dog. The message in this video is very inspirational and encourages all of us to realize that when we let go of trying to control others and just let them be who they are that wonderful things can happen. It also reminds us that when we focus on what we can do rather than what we can't, we can all shine in our own unique way.

I have watched it over and over and it brings me joy and touches me every time. Also, brings me to tears every time as well. Ensure that your speakers are turned on as the music contributes greatly to the impact.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BGODurRfVv4

Create Successful Changes with Coaching

Barb Small — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 09:29:00 GMT

I used to always look forward to September coming - it meant new adventures and it always felt like the beginning of a new year more than January 1st did. What would you like the "new year" to bring you in your life?

As Your No-Nonsense Coach I can help you create the life you want to live by assisting you in bridging the gap between where you are in your life and where you want to be and by helping you stay focused in achieving your goals and dreams.

Through coaching I will work with you:

To improve your assertiveness and communication skills
To enhance both your personal and professional relationships
To improve your self-esteem and your positive thinking and attitude
To develop more satisfaction and balance in life when "success" is not enough
To make substantial changes from simplifying your lifestyle to achieving personal goals and dreams
To live a more fulfilling life, basing your choices on your own personal values
To slow down and spend more time and energy on what really matters to you
To reduce stress and have more fun, happiness and passion for your life!

Coaching is focused on where you are going rather than on where you have been and on solutions rather than on problems.

In addition, coaching is about expanding your life, creating possibilities previously seen as unreachable, or perhaps just unrealized. When you work with a coach, you get what they want much faster and more efficiently than if on your own.

As Your No-Nonsense Coach, I act as a sounding board, ask provocative questions, brainstorm options with you, provides support, encourage action and offer honest and direct feedback.

Take the energy that you have harnessed over the summer, eliminateold negative habits and create the life you want to live. For more information about my coaching services or to schedule an appointment, please email me at barbsmall@shaw.ca.

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

Barb Small — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:40:00 GMT

The Mayonnaise Jar and Two Cups of Coffee

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in aday are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front ofhim. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and emptymayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked thestudents if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between thegolf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreedit was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Ofcourse, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar wasfull. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table andpoured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty spacebetween the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognizethat this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the importantthings--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favoritepassions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your lifewould still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house andyour car.

The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into thejar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuffyou will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play withyour children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out todinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fixthe disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter.Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there'salways room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Source: Unknown

Hawaiian Rules to Live By

Barb Small — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 18:50:00 GMT

Never judge a day by the weather.

The best things in life aren't things.

Tell the truth - there's less to remember.

Speak softly and wear a loud shirt.

Goals are deceptive - the unaimed arrow never misses.

He who dies with the most toys - still dies.

Age is relative - when you're over the hill, you pick up speed.

There are 2 ways to be rich - make more or desire less.

Beauty is internal - looks mean nothing.

No Rain - No Rainbows.

By Aunty Mona Kahele

Improve your Physical and Emotional Well-being

Barb Small — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 21:51:00 GMT

Hello,

I just wanted to let you know about this new nutritional supplement that I have discovered from livethesource. I have been very impressed by the impact it has had on both my physical and emotional well-being.

I am very interested in natural and complementary health and am always on the look out for new and better products. I am also the first person to be sceptical of anyone wanting me to buy anything.

That said, in May I was told about a presentation for a new nutritional supplement and actually decided to go to the talk. I think it might have been because I was feeling really tired, achy and stiff that day and I thought, “What have I got to lose”.

Well I ended up buying some of the dailysource Multi-vitamin, Mineral and Herbal Supplement that night to try it out. I was intrigued by the science behind the formulation of the product and the testimonials from other users in the room. I also liked the positive energy from the company founder and the distributors giving the presentation.

The dailysource Multi-vitamin, Mineral and Herbal Supplement is an all-natural product made from 100% food grade ingredients so that it is easily recognized and absorbed by the body. It is produced using a nano-technology which creates nano-encapsulated vitamins and minerals that feed your body at a cellular level. It is easily ingested into your cells and does not need to be digested. It helps to nourish your body and create balance so that your body is then better able to naturally heal itself of any imbalances. Dailysource also works on a preventative level as each time your cells replicate, they replicate into healthier cells.

So even though I sat there sceptically listening, I was impressed and intrigued:

With the science behind the product formulation
That the product is 100% natural and made from food
That it helps your body to become more balanced so that your body can then do what it is meant to do naturally - which is heal itself
That only 10% of most vitamin capsules are absorbed by your body while the nano-technology used to produce this product allows for much quicker and more efficient absorption directly into your cells
With the cost effectiveness and convenience of taking only one product
By the testimonials of the people in the room who were already using the product
became an annualized multi-million dollar company within the first 4 months

But most of all I am impressed by the changes I noticed in myself after only two weeks of using the dailysourcetm:

I was sleeping much better and waking up feeling much more rested
I had more energy during the day and noticed myself just naturally doing more rather than being so exhausted that I just wanted to sit on the couch
Both my knees that were almost constantly burning were noticeably less painful
Overall all my muscles and joints were less achy
Although I hadn’t lost any weight according to the scale, I noticed my clothes were a lot looser around my stomach
I noticed an improvement in my digestion as well
I’ve suffered from chronic congestion in my nose and throat for as long as I can remember and there was a clear improvement in this as well
Emotionally I felt a lot less stressed and responded much more calmly and was less reactive to ongoing stressful situations. They just didn’t seem to be such an issue anymore
Most of these changes tended to happen subtly and I noticed them retroactively when I realized that I just wasn’t feeling or behaving a certain way anymore.

So I ended up doing what I vowed I wouldn’t do when I went to the presentation and I have become a distributor/sponsor of the livethesource products which include the dailysourcetm Multi-vitamin, Mineral and Herbal Supplement and the Vitamin D3 Booster. When I started to take the Vitamin D3 Booster before bed each night I was right away sleeping through to 6:30 AM rather than waking up at 5:00 AM. As well, I would wake up some mornings realizing that I don’t think I even rolled over all night! This was a great benefit.

I wanted to share this information and my experience with you. If you would like more information, I invite you to visit www.livethesource.com .

The products are only available for purchase through a livethesource distributor/sponsor like or through www.livethesource.com .

The dailysourcetm Multi-vitamin, Mineral and Herbal Supplement retails for $48/bottle which lasts one month (that’s less that $2.00/day) and a month’s supply of the Vitamin D3 Booster is $40.

What is YOUR one key step to Personal Wellness?

Barb Small — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 18:11:00 GMT

Several years ago I interviewed Dr. Lara Lauzon about how to create wellness and balance in our lives. Some of the ideas she shared with me then have stuck with me to this day.

The one that stayed with me the most was finding your one key ingredient for wellness. She suggested creating an individual wellness plan that fits in with your own unique lifestyle and interests. No one activity or change is going to work for everyone. Lara comes from a strong physical activity background so for her physical activity is a baseline for well-being. “If I am not active on a regular basis I get grumpy.”

We all have one thing that makes us well. This activity energizes us and when we are involved in it we are more motivated to take care of ourselves in other ways. When we don’t have time to do a lot to keep us well, making time for this one activity can impact all areas of our lives. We will be a better mother, son, wife, husband, employee or friend. For some people it will be physical exercise, for others gardening, music, reading or painting. What makes you well?

Well-being also includes connecting with others and asking for help when needed. Lara was raised to be very independent and had to learn that “you don’t always have to do everything by yourself. Working with others can help you stay well. If you are so independent you’re trying to do everything on your own, you can easily get burnt out.” How might you connect more with others?

Little bits of self-care along the way is a much better plan for living well then that crash course in wellness when you are so exhausted that it is difficult to even start. Wellness does not mean that you won’t ever feel stressed or tired. You’re not going to exercise and eat healthy every day. It is about embracing this as a lifestyle. We’ll always have our peaks and valleys. You may get off track, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get back on track and ensure you spend even a small amount of time on the one thing that makes you well.

Why Can Asking for Help Be So Difficult?

Barb Small — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 18:06:00 GMT

Why is it so hard to ask for help? Despite the fact that we may be overwhelmed with responsibility or are unsure about what we need to do next, many of us do not ask for help or reject help when it is offered.

Asking for help is often hard because we don’t know what our needs are, we are fearful of being a bother, or we feel guilty that we are not able to do it all ourselves. Beliefs such as “no one can do this as well as I can,” or “no one should do this but me” can also be obstacles to asking for help. It’s true. No one will do something exactly the same as you, but that does not mean that they cannot be helpful in their own way.

Recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It means you have an awareness of your situation and have come up with a proactive problem-solving approach to making things easier. Asking for help is a sign of strength because it is an acknowledgment of the challenges of the situation. It is a sign of strength because it requires putting your pride aside and acting in the best interest of everyone involved.

You first need to admit that having some help will make a real difference. You need to define what help you need. Which tasks would be the easiest to ask others to do? Which do you really want to do yourself? And which, if any, can you afford to pay others to do?

Discuss your needs with others who might be willing to lend a hand. They may want to help but don’t always know how or when to intervene. Don't be afraid to say "Yes" if someone offers to help. Have a list of errands or tasks you need help with. Focus on each person’s strength. Some may be better at listening while others may be better able to help with errands.

Family Dynamics During an Illness in the Family

Barb Small — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 18:01:00 GMT

Dealing with significant illness and health concerns in a family can bring out the best and the worst in everyone involved. People can come together to support each other or the stress can lead to frustration and conflict between family members.

Past family dynamics and family roles often re-surface. All those old issues and unresolved tensions that you thought you had resolved can often re-emerge.

It is important to keep in mind that everyone will respond to the situation in their own unique way. Frustration can occur if you expect everyone else to feel or act the same as you. Everyone in the family comes with a different history within the family, a different relationship with the person who is ill and a different comfort level with illness and the associated emotions.