Why Can Asking for Help Be So Difficult?
Why is it so hard to ask for help? Despite the fact that we may be overwhelmed with responsibility or are unsure about what we need to do next, many of us do not ask for help or reject help when it is offered.
Asking for help is often hard because we don’t know what our needs are, we are fearful of being a bother, or we feel guilty that we are not able to do it all ourselves. Beliefs such as “no one can do this as well as I can,” or “no one should do this but me” can also be obstacles to asking for help. It’s true. No one will do something exactly the same as you, but that does not mean that they cannot be helpful in their own way.
Recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It means you have an awareness of your situation and have come up with a proactive problem-solving approach to making things easier. Asking for help is a sign of strength because it is an acknowledgment of the challenges of the situation. It is a sign of strength because it requires putting your pride aside and acting in the best interest of everyone involved.
You first need to admit that having some help will make a real difference. You need to define what help you need. Which tasks would be the easiest to ask others to do? Which do you really want to do yourself? And which, if any, can you afford to pay others to do?
Discuss your needs with others who might be willing to lend a hand. They may want to help but don’t always know how or when to intervene. Don't be afraid to say "Yes" if someone offers to help. Have a list of errands or tasks you need help with. Focus on each person’s strength. Some may be better at listening while others may be better able to help with errands.
Asking for help is often hard because we don’t know what our needs are, we are fearful of being a bother, or we feel guilty that we are not able to do it all ourselves. Beliefs such as “no one can do this as well as I can,” or “no one should do this but me” can also be obstacles to asking for help. It’s true. No one will do something exactly the same as you, but that does not mean that they cannot be helpful in their own way.
Recognize that asking for help is a sign of strength and not weakness. It means you have an awareness of your situation and have come up with a proactive problem-solving approach to making things easier. Asking for help is a sign of strength because it is an acknowledgment of the challenges of the situation. It is a sign of strength because it requires putting your pride aside and acting in the best interest of everyone involved.
You first need to admit that having some help will make a real difference. You need to define what help you need. Which tasks would be the easiest to ask others to do? Which do you really want to do yourself? And which, if any, can you afford to pay others to do?
Discuss your needs with others who might be willing to lend a hand. They may want to help but don’t always know how or when to intervene. Don't be afraid to say "Yes" if someone offers to help. Have a list of errands or tasks you need help with. Focus on each person’s strength. Some may be better at listening while others may be better able to help with errands.
Posted by Barb Small at 6/24/2010 11:06 AM 
Categories: Self-esteem, Effective Communication, Feelings, Assertive Communication, Communication Skills
Tags: Effective Communication clear communication managing change assertive communication managing feelings
Categories: Self-esteem, Effective Communication, Feelings, Assertive Communication, Communication Skills
Tags: Effective Communication clear communication managing change assertive communication managing feelings
the author is absolutely right agree with every word
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