Coping With the Ongoing Losses Associated with an Illness in the Family
Although we expect to grieve when someone dies or is diagnosed with a terminal illness, we may not expect the recurring grief we can experience throughout the time we care for someone. Facing ongoing loss is one of the many challenges that we encounter as we adjust to changes in our health or a family member’s health. With each change, we can experience feelings of loss. Each loss requires mourning.
Depending on the specifics of your illness or your family member’s illness, you may be struggling with one or more of the following losses:
• Independence
• Privacy
• Hopes and dreams for the future
• Financial security
• Changes in the relationship
• Your social life
• Your job
• Your home
Your grief can manifest itself in many ways including guilt, anxiety, helplessness, irritability, anger or frustration. It is important that you deal with these emotions as they occur rather than allowing the grief to build.
In addition, a chronically ill person may also have to cope with facing the fear of more ongoing loss. Changing roles in family, work and social situations that result from a person’s illness can create additional adjustment problems for everyone involved.
Some steps for coping with illness related loss include:
• Recognizing and talking about your feelings. Good friends, family members, or local religious organizations can be good sources of support. Reach out to others to help reduce feelings of isolation.
• Joining a support group.
• Honouring your memories of what used to be while you acknowledge how things are now and what is still possible.
• Writing down your feelings. Writing or journaling is not for everyone. For individuals who enjoy writing, it can be a wonderful way to express feelings of loss and grief.
• Reading a book on coping with grief and loss.
• Making time for yourself. Do what works for you. You may want to garden, read, go for a walk or visit with others.
• Asking for help when needed.
Depending on the specifics of your illness or your family member’s illness, you may be struggling with one or more of the following losses:
• Independence
• Privacy
• Hopes and dreams for the future
• Financial security
• Changes in the relationship
• Your social life
• Your job
• Your home
Your grief can manifest itself in many ways including guilt, anxiety, helplessness, irritability, anger or frustration. It is important that you deal with these emotions as they occur rather than allowing the grief to build.
In addition, a chronically ill person may also have to cope with facing the fear of more ongoing loss. Changing roles in family, work and social situations that result from a person’s illness can create additional adjustment problems for everyone involved.
Some steps for coping with illness related loss include:
• Recognizing and talking about your feelings. Good friends, family members, or local religious organizations can be good sources of support. Reach out to others to help reduce feelings of isolation.
• Joining a support group.
• Honouring your memories of what used to be while you acknowledge how things are now and what is still possible.
• Writing down your feelings. Writing or journaling is not for everyone. For individuals who enjoy writing, it can be a wonderful way to express feelings of loss and grief.
• Reading a book on coping with grief and loss.
• Making time for yourself. Do what works for you. You may want to garden, read, go for a walk or visit with others.
• Asking for help when needed.
Posted by Barb Small at 6/10/2010 4:18 PM 
Categories: Feelings, Managing feelings, Self-esteem, Making Changes
Tags: stress management making changes Feelings managing feelings managing change
Categories: Feelings, Managing feelings, Self-esteem, Making Changes
Tags: stress management making changes Feelings managing feelings managing change
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