I like to say we are being “self-full”. Our needs and other people’s needs are not always mutually exclusive. Just because we make choices for ourselves does not mean that we will always choose to ignore others and not do anything for them. But we will do it from a place of choice rather than a place of “have to” or fear.

Sometimes when we always step up and do something for someone else, when perhaps we don’t want to, we may be preventing them from seeking out the help they need from someone else who might be more qualified or more able to meet their needs. It can also be detrimental to that other person because when we always do it for them; we are preventing them from learning to do it for themselves. So instead of thinking of being assertive as being selfish, think of it as respecting our rights and the rights of others to make personal choices for ourselves